How I Know I’m Not in New York (Part 3)

You’re OK, Just Go Away
February 25, 2013
Little Lessons on Logos
March 4, 2013
Show all

(Originally published Feb. 22, 2013, in Dilema Veche, here.)

“They can’t do that to us!”

My Romanian friend Remus called me the other day. He was upset. Very, very upset.

“Have you seen what the British are saying about us?”

“Yes, Remus, it’s not very nice.”

“Not nice! Are you kidding?! It’s absolutely insulting. Unacceptable! Unforgivable!!”

“Yes, they don’t seem to like Romania very much.”

“They don’t trust us! They treat us like children!! We can’t let them get away with it!!”

“Yes, I know…”

“They think millions of us have nothing better to do than pack up and move to their crappy wet country as soon as those fools in the EU start to treat us with respect.”

“Yes, well, something like that.”

“They think we want to live there? That we’re all going to move?!”

“I know, I know. That’s silly. Romania is a great place to live.”

“Yes, well…”

“And, of course, we want to stay.”

“Well, actually, maybe….”

“And, Remus, anyway, your whole life is here.”

“Well, yes, in some ways…but then again.”

“Oh, come on, there’s no doubt. There’s no way someone would prefer England to here.”

“Well, my friend, to tell you the truth…”

“What are you saying? You want to move there?”

“Listen, that’s not the point. How dare they accuse us! According to them, we’re always the problem. How dare they not trust us!! That shows no respect!!!!”

“Remus, I’ve never heard you sound so indignant. I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“How dare they do this! They think that we’re stupid? That we’ll put up with anything? That they can do anything they want!? Then they accuse us of lying. How dare they say that!!”

“I wouldn’t take it so personally. Every country wants someone to blame. Someone to point at. Someone for the politicians to use to get votes.”

“I know. But why us? It’s always us! You know it’s not right.”

“It’s just politics, Remus. That whole anti-EU thing and all.”

“I suppose. Still, how can people in those countries be so lazy and ignorant to elect such liars and fools?”

“I don’t know. But you know, it’s not only there that…” I started to say.

“They should show us some respect. We don’t deserve such treatment.”

“No, you don’t, but…”

“And it’s offensive for them to think we’ll just sit by and take it,” Remus interrupted. “I get so tired of it all. No one respects us!! The Dutch whine and whine about all our corruption. Why do they care? It’s ours, not theirs. It’s none of their business.”

“Well, I think….”

“And the French and the Italians blame us for Gypsies. They act like we created them. That we made them on purpose! And then they treat them like dirt!”

“I think you mean Roma.”

“Yes, Gypsies, Roma, whatever, you know what I mean.”

“Well, I think it’s important… “

“And then they talk like we sent them. That we’re glad that they’re gone. That we don’t want them to stay!”

“You want them to stay?”

“No, of course not. But it’s not our fault they leave.”

“It all seems a bit complicated,” I said.

“And on top of it all, there’s that horse meat scandal. And again we’re to blame. That’s what they think. Again they don’t trust us. They think we’re at fault.”

“Yes, they certainly did.”

“I don’t know why they always pick on us. Typical outsiders. Everything’s our fault. Oh, sure, blame it on Romania!”

“You know it might be…”

“Someone’s paying those countries to say this. It’s a conspiracy, it is!”

“Remus, calm down. Now, I’m not sure…”

“I say good for our Prime Minister! He came right out and said it: ‘It wasn’t our fault!’”

“Yes, he did.”

“And still, they don’t believe him.”

“I think their point was they wanted to investigate, Remus. They need to make sure they understand the whole food chain, from start to finish, so it won’t happen again.”

“And that’s what they should do! It’s about time they did that!”

“But there are a lot of countries involved. So they all need to cooperate.”

“And of course, we’ll cooperate. Our Prime Minister cooperated. He told them immediately he knew it wasn’t us. They should go and look elsewhere and mind their own business.”

“Well, anyway, they say there will be paperwork to prove it.”

“Yes, and as soon as we find it, they’ll see that he’s right.”

“Yes, but I’m not sure…”

“And then they’ll have to believe him. He’ll have a paper to prove it.”

“Yes, that might help, but you know…”

“But for them, no matter what we do, it’s never enough. They never respect us.”

“Well, Remus, you know, it might be because…”

“He’s our Prime Minister, after all, the head of our government! The head of our country! He represents us in Brussels and in other foreign trips! It’s insulting for them to treat us this way.”

“Yes, I understand, but…”

“He’s not some local simpleton. He knows what it’s like in other countries. He got a master’s degree from a university in Italy.”

“Well, actually, I think that…”

“And he’s a smart guy. He wrote a brilliant doctoral thesis.”

“Yes, well, there too, I’m not sure…”

“They should trust us. It’s disrespectful they don’t believe him. If he said it’s not ours, then the horse meat was not ours!! And soon, soon, we’ll have a paper to prove it!!!”

“Yes, I’m sure they will want…”

“Do those fools in London really think our Prime Minister would risk the reputation of this entire country and all of its people just for the sake of a single piece of paper?”

“Remus, really, I’m not sure it’s….”

“No, my friend, I’ve never been this upset. I can’t believe there are some people who treat us so badly.”

“Yes, I’m afraid there are.”

“But it’s just what you said. It’s all politics out there. What a shame it’s not here where we could do something about it. But, oh well, that’s just typical. From here, of course, there’s nothing we can do.”

Please like & share:

1 Comment

  1. blo says:

    :)) now I KNOW Remus is a fictional character. although maybe more than 50% of the male population could be Remus :))

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>